What is with men these days?

I know I'm being a picky bitch and I know I'm lucky to have perfectly nice men interacting with me on these dating apps, but I just find their mode address so unappealing. How am I supposed to take any of these guys seriously?

Adorable? Ew.

I can't stand this "hey beautiful" shit, like he doesn't remember my name...

I'm sure he thinks he's being cute but wtf?

Babe? 🤦

 

Disappointed again

  Another bizarre dating app fiasco. This guy seemed promising, we were talking about books. He gave me his email address and suggested that I email him, which I did, even though I thought it was a bit odd and sort of scammy. 

Then he claims he responded to the email and became kind of insistent about it, saying the email brought him back to the app, which was definitely not my email, like what? 

He also says he did "warn" me that he doesn't go back and check email, which he absolutely never said. And why would you give somebody your email address and then tell them that you aren't gonna be going back to check your email, like what?

 (I think he's confusing messaging in the dating app with email because they're both apps on his phone... I'm not sure though)

Then, when I said, I never got an email, he brushes me off: good luck to you.

He could have suggested that we just talk on the app, but I guess I'm not worth it. 

I didn't necessarily think he was going to be my great love, but I thought there was some potential to at least have an interesting conversation with another person in North Dakota. I guess that's not happening.

I did reach out to him again because it just seemed worth trying one more time. He sent me a bunch of very long messages with no punctuation. He said I "manifested what he is looking for" but... He explained his "psychology" and a bunch of other stuff...it's not even worth copying and pasting here. Everyone thinks they are so special and unique and deep. And this guy keeps apologizing for his spelling and his rambling, but just can't make the effort to craft a message that communicates effectively. I've run out of steam on this. Damn, there are a lot of weird people out there.

Feeling melancholy

Today is Larry's 60th birthday. It feels kind of unreal, even seeing all the photos in my Facebook Memories of past celebrations with him. It doesn't really feel like I ever had that life.

I mostly think about the future and I'm not particularly sad about the past anymore, but this is an unsettling day. I thought we would grow old together, I thought we would share these types of milestones together. I was part of that partnership for so long...

I had dinner at someone's house this weekend, a couple that's been together for many years, and they were telling stories about their travel adventures. It reminded me that I had expected to have that life, a life where I had a partner and we told stories about when we 1st got together and the things that we did we were young and foolish. Seems so odd that I will never have that with a person, even if I meet somebody new - we won't have that shared history. It's sad.

More irritating guests

Another strange AirBnB guest and this one left me a negative review (4 stars and a shitty comment). 

This guy contacted me late Saturday afternoon and, when I accepted his request, said he would be here in 30 miutes (that's very last minute). He stayed in the room all night and most of the next day. He left early Monday morning. His review said the bed is small and the linens need "updating." 

Holy shit! Guest expectations should be in line with the price! A basic hotel in the area is almost $100 a night. My place is less than half that and those sheets are 100% organic cotton flannel which I bought just a couple of months ago - they are nicer than literally any hotel sheets I have ever slept on.* 

I have been thinking about raising my price (and my cleaning fee) because, honestly, it is too cheap compared to the alternatives (more than one guest has told me I could charge more). 

I checked the other local AirBnB listings after this and there are many more than there was even a few months ago, including several like mine, a room in a house (most with a queen size bed specified), and  all charging more than mine (plus a fat cleaning fee). So these folks are picking the cheapest option of several and then bitching about it.

The hockey asshole (discussed in yesterday's post) gave me a 5 star review and then, in the comment, said it was "cramped." What the actual fuck? The bed and bedroom, and the bathroom, are all clearly shown in the photos in my listing and I clearly state the place is small - "small" is the very first word in my listing. If you want something spacious, get a bigger place and PAY THE MONEY. Don't take the cheap place and then make unreasonable complaints about it.**

I feel like they are so cavalier, making their very public criticisms without caring about the impact it could have on my bookings and my income. I have never made petty comments in my public reviews - if there was something I thought needed to be addressed, I would send that comment directly to the host, AirBnB lets you do that. I have gotten several constructive comments privately from guests and I appreciated them! I wouldn't damage someone's reputation so carelessly. 

I just got designated a SuperHost on AirBnB, thank goodenss, because this 4 star review might have effected that. I hope people look at the many reviews that say my place is cozy and comfortable and don't listen to these disgruntled asshats.

*I messaged the guy and we had a whole exchange. He said he didn't like the sheets, which is fine, but of course that is not at all the same as suggesting, as he did, that they're OLD. He acted like he's doing me a favor, giving me this helpful feedback. Meanwhile, he literally invented something to complain about for a place he paid almost nothing to stay in. If he wants the latest in linens, PAY THE MONEY for a nicer place. jesus wept.

**I feel particularly annoyed by this casually negative remark since I listened to this blowhard for over an hour and that should buy me at least some consideration when it's time to give me a rating.

Strange guest

  I have been grateful to have some bookings at my airbnb in January because I expected the month to be quiet and I really need the money. However, the trend continues of having rather odd men staying with me. The most recent one was staying overnight so he could attend a UND hockey game. He's from Boston. 

When he came in, he asked me about my RBG pillow, and then started to just vomit out his political views to me for about 40 minutes, most of which I thought were ridiculous, including his assertion that Black people don't like Asians, so racism doesn't exist. Seriously. Everything was said in that way some people (mostly men) have, of asserting what they're saying as if it's so obvious. 

He sounded exactly like the guy I met on the dating app and talked to on the phone, who launched into a long recitation of his political views that mostly were just silly, like if punishments were harsher then people wouldn't commit crimes (this is demonstrably false, which I told him and he ignored). 

I've also had some very nice guests, both men and women, but I haven't had any women as weird as some of the men.

Disappointing new year

 I got so much interest on the dating app around the first of the year and it's all dissipated. Most recently, I had chatted with a guy in the app and we made plans get together and then he had to cancel for some family thing. When I asked if he wanted to reschedule, he said he was dealing with some issues at work and then he unmatched me. wtf! He was the last of the hot prospects from earlier in the month. The rejection during the past week has been relentless. 

 Though, to balance this out, I have plans with a friend in Minneapolis in April, and a plan to go to the Badlands with another friend in July. I was also invited to my former mother-in-law's 85th birthday party in the spring in NJ, though, at this point, I don't think I can afford the plane ticket.

smh

What does this even mean? Keep aiming high? Like he's out of my league? Puh-leez.

Crash and burn

So it finally happened - my ex crashed and burned, probably due to drinking, and maybe drugs. I just found out today that he was fired from his job of 15 years, about a week ago. 

My 1st thought was "oh my God, I won't get the child support and I won't be able to pay the mortgage on the New York house!" But if he gets another job, even if he collects unemployment, I'll still get some money.  

My second thought was how very far down a hole he must have fallen to get kicked out of the restaurant he started. That restaurant was a golden goose, how badly must he have let it go? And how bad must it have gotten - Jerry wouldn't kick him to the curb without giving him a million chances. He used to be called The Mayor of Watertown, because he knew everybody and was so highly regarded. His whole self worth had always come from being a good, dependable worker. He was so proud of never missing work when he was a coke addict in the 80s. His 60th birthday is in a couple weeks...he lost his family, then his career...pretty stunning. And it seems like no one knows about it - no one I've contacted or talked to, including his sister.

Even though I'm freaking out, I can't help feeling a little satisfied, knowing that I've handled my post-divorce life a LOT better than he has. And the best part of his life was during the time I was in it...

 Just a couple days after I found out about this, I saw this Mary Englebright drawing and it's perfect:

Second chance?

 Men are so inexplicable. The douche who GHOSTED me hard this time last year just messaged me on Match.com "Hey, how were your holidays." Like bygones are bygones, I guess. I can't decide if I should ignore him, take the high road and respond graciously, or respond with something deservedly bitchy....

I ended up going with something between gracious and bitchy

 

A tiny part of me hoped he might actually apologize or try to hit the restart button in some way, but this was the predictable result:

My wish for myself & an affirmation