Preach

 

Truth

 

New Year's reminders

 

Ghost #2

  I had a flurry of very proactive interest from people on the dating app and they are dropping like flies now - I never heard back from this guy...

UPDATE: Two days later, he messaged me, saying he had been busy moving and taking care of his parents' dog. I was still thinking about how to reply when he blocked me or whatever people do to remove the message from your inbox...

Ghost #1

  So much flowery flattering contact from this guy and now I'm being ghosted, presumably because he's just trying to get laid - I guess me having plans after dinner is a deal breaker since "connection" is code for getting busy asap...

UPDATE: I heard from this guy a few days later, saying he hurt his hand at work. I sort of left things on "maybe" - I don't take this guy very seriously...

They should just avoid talking about my job

This whole exchange is just weird, manplaining my job to me, or making assumptions about it. What does "and yet" mean? I'd only like my job if I sat around reading all day? I don't think I've ever had an exchange about being a librarian that didn't make the guy seem a bit (or a lot) like a jerk.

I'm trying to be less judgmental but people get on my nerves...

What?

 Lots of dating app convos over the holiday weekend, most of them odd AF...

This guy says he likes me, he doesn't care what "anyone thinks." What the hell does that mean? I think maybe that was meant for someone else...

And this guy keeps remarking on how young looking I am. It's flattering, I guess, but also feels insincere and I wanted to say "I have a mind too!"

UPDATE

We made plans to get together, but he had to cancel because his mother was visiting (!) He was very apologetic, but when I asked about rescheduling, he unmatched with me. wtf???

Native representation in films

I saw the Avatar sequel and the Black Panther sequel this weekend, and the parallels are striking: both involving underwater cultures, connections to whales, and specific indigenous representation - in Avatar, the new tribe is based largely on the Maori (bottom photo), and in BP, the new tribe is based on the Mayans.

Here's an article that compares and contrasts them.

A super interesting side note: the leader of the native people in Black Panther is a character created for the comic in 1939! He was called Sub-Mariner in the comic; in the film he is K'uk'ulkan (the serpent god) and called Namor, which is a portmanteau of "no love" in the Mayan language:

Exactly this

 

I deserve it all

This guy made it clear when we had lunch and in a previous text message that he was interested in getting busy. I was trying to overcome my gut reaction, which was a hard no...then I had a cleaning at the dentist and I was sitting in the chair thinking about what to do about this and how to answer this message when a song comes on saying "you deserve it all" many many times, so I think: that's my answer from the Universe...

(When I looked up the song, I found that it's a Christian rock song by Josh Baldwin and the "you" in the refrain is Jesus, so that's even funnier...)

Best Streaming Entertainment 2022

 l made a list of stuff I watched this year that I liked for a friend:

MOVIES

Picture a Scientist (doc) - exceptional film about sexism in science

The Janes (doc) - great film about the Chicago collective providing illegal abortions right before Roe v Wade

Emily the Criminal - fun strange film about a woman who sort of falls into a life of crime and flourishes there

School for Good and Evil - really fun fantasy that satirizes fairytale conventions

I Want You Back - kind of an anti rom-com

Good on Paper - great cynical rom-com based on a true story

The 355 - kick ass girl power action movie

Lou - Allison Janney in an odd spy thriller

SERIES

Kindred - adaptation of Octavis Butler's novel - super well done and not too gruesome

Yellowjackets - weird badass series about women in a plane crash with a great cast

Away - terrific speculative fiction series about the first mission to Mars with Hilary Swank as the commander

The Bear - exceptional drama series about a family diner in Chicago

Damnation - violent but excellent series based on a true story about union organizing in the Midwest in the early 20^th century

Midnight Mass - super weird but riveting limited series about dark doings on an isolated (Canadian?) island

The Patient - disturbing but compelling limited series with Steve Carell as a therapist kidnapped by his patient

Pieces of Her - thriller with Toni Collette, limited series based on a book

Our Flag Means Death - weird but charming series from Taika Waititi

Heartstopper - absolutely adorable limited series about first (gay) love, based on a graphic novel

Work thoughts

We spent most of the week meeting with Dean's candidates and it was inspiring to hear all the wonderful things they're doing at the libraries where they're currently employed, but it was also super discouraging that the CFL isn't doing any of that stuff. Not any of it. We just aren't making an effort to connect with students or faculty or the larger campus. Hopefully, whomever we hire will kick our butts a little bit and get us somewhere closer to a 21st century level of forward-facing, patron-oriented librarianship.

Bad juju?

I had another date this weekend with a nice gentleman from the dating app - we met for a "burger" (his invite) at my go to pub, Up North, in East Grand Forks. After he left and I went home, I realized I have had 4 dates at that pub and they have all not called me afterwards! I think that spot might be bad luck, even though the food is great and the service is always super friendly. 

The 1st one, we went to the hockey game afterwards, I never heard from him again. 

The 2nd one, the guy came from Bemidji, we had lunch, which I paid for, I never heard from him again. 

The 3rd one asked me what's the point of a public library. I never heard from him again, thank goodness. 

And the fourth was this guy, who asked me twice during the date how old I was (it's in my dating profile) - I do not expect hear from him again.

 I think I need to find a new place to have my dates...

Whatever

 I've been messaging with this guy for a few days. Obviously, I don't take him seriously at all, but I'm just fascinated by his approach. I don't think he has the slightest idea how a grown ass woman wants to be treated.

Busy weekend

I finally had lunch with this guy Chris, who I've been messaging with for a long time (because he's super flaky in general, plus somewhere in there he tried to get back together with his ex-girlfriend) and it went exactly as I expected it to. We literally have nothing in common, not the way we look at the world, not the way we like to spend our free time. He's sort of fixated on the idea that I'm this nice, sensible lady who's gonna keep him on the straight and narrow, which is not very appealing to me. I don't want to babysit some grown ass man who's never gotten past the mental age of 16.

At one point he said "work hard play hard, what else is there?" And I said, "making the world a better place." And he said, "oh I do that by just being friendly to people." Like, completely unclear on the concept.

He also talked about how he made all this money over the last X number of years and blew at all, including spending $12,000 on his girlfriend last Christmas when he knew she was seeing somebody else...he's actually told me that story twice. So he says he needs someone to put him on an allowance...um, I don't want to be somebody's superego because they can't be bothered to control themselves (I played that role in my marriage and it's such a trap because then you're the bitch who doesn't know how to have fun...)

And this gem: when we first met up, he said he was thinking about librarian things and he figured I knew a lot of words. Seriously, he said that. Like, what the fuck? And what am I supposed to say in reply to that?

He's nice looking - I could do worse in that department. But it's kind of a bummer to realize that my options are depressives, narcissists, or manbabies.

Not very tempting

So this guy liked me on the dating app: 1 blurry (probably very old) photo and this exciting profile: can't count to 3, can't spell, and loves to drink...

 

Basketcase

Had a coffee date with a nice, educated man yesterday. Going pretty well and then...

Turn off #1: He starts being real: he's devastated by the breakup of his marriage, he's depressed, and there are days when life doesn't seem worth living. 

But wait, there's more. 

Turn off #2: He tells me that he's had a few other dates, but realized he wants an older woman because he doesn't want any more kids (he has a 2 year old). This is a backhanded compliment if I've ever heard one and confirms to me (yet again) that men my age are not generally looking for women my age.

Turn off #3: Then he tells me he reached out to me specifically because I'm Jewish - because his ex was Jewish.

Turn off #4: He asks me how it's going on the dating app, which I always think is a bizarre question from someone you're currently on a date with (if I'm out with you, it must be going badly lol). But seriously, how are you supposed to answer that? When I said, "well, it's North Dakota," he proceeds to mansplain successful dating to me: I'm at the university, there must be people there...um, okay

We mades a vague plan to get together again but I don't see this going anywhere.