New scam

I answered one of these (see below how that went), but I've gotten 3 more within a few days. My phone number has gotten on some list, and they apparently think I'm a guy...

Is this even worth it?

I texted with this guy for a couple of weeks, but, like a bunch of other guys I've met on the apps, he just wants to chat - he's bored, he lives on a farm - he doesn't want to make the actual effort for something more.

It's coming up on a year and a 1/2 I've been on dating sites, although I've taken a break a couple of times. Why is it so hard to find a worthwhile man?

WTAF

 This is online dating:

Brush off

Needless to say, I never heard from this guy. I didn't really expect to, when he says on Tuesday that he'll reach out on Friday to make a plan - it sounded like a brush off and, it turns out, it was.

UPDATE: I messaged him "Classy" on Saturday afternoon and suddenly he's back, saying he got kicked off the app because his credit card was declined (!) and would I like to get lunch on Sunday. But I said no thanks, he just doesn't seem invested and I can't be bothered, plus I had plans on Sunday. Though later I had some regret about it - I'm trying to be less picky and judgemental, and this seemed like a good time to be more open, especially since this guy is actually educated. But he blocked me, or whatever people do on the app so I couldn't see his profile anymore, which tells you something. It doesn't feel like a great loss, it's just one more in a major run of disappointments...

Change in tone

 

 I am so super bummed. I had a really great text conversation with this guy the night before, about books and board games and movies. He seemed really nice and now, all of a sudden, he changed. We're chatting tonight and he gets sort of belligerent about me sending him a picture. I would be happy to send him a picture if he would just ask me to send him a picture instead of demanding that I send him a picture (that first message was out of the blue, not a follow-up to a question). Such a red flag, both the snitty, entitled tone ("yeah so no" and "why have I never thought of that") and the abrupt change.

Basic red flags

I've been at this so long, I've developed a bunch of rules and red flags:

No photos in bed or naked from the waist up, just ew

No photos in public bathrooms, honestly, you don't have a mirror in your house?

No photos wearing sunglasses, especially mirrored sunglasses

If your only photo is in your car, probably not

Hold the camera at eye level or above, don't look down into the camera (nostrils are not sexy!)

No, I don't root for a sports team

No, I don't want to ride on your Harley

If you say something mean about your ex, or women in general, in your profile, forget it

If you talk about Jesus or God in your profile, hard pass

Obvious fake profiles

Obvious attempts to just hook up

Egregious spelling mistakes

More dating adventures

 A guy messaged me on the app about being a female veteran and "thank you for your service," but he really wasn't appealing, so I replied that he's a smoker and that is a hard pass for me. Then he replies that he didn't mean it like that, he was just observing that women aren't usually veterans. I was crafting a reply, something about I assumed he was reaching out to me with the intention of dating, seeing as this is a dating app. But he deleted our interaction before I could reply (or screenshot the conversation for this blog).

AirBnB Host Survey

 AirBnB sent me a host survey about my experiences and especially whether I worry about things like someone using my place for parties or sex work. Thank goodness I haven't had those problems, though I do worry somewhat about people not behaving appropriately. This is the comment I sent, in the space where they asked if we had any other concerns:

"I feel like you have to be a little cold hearted to be a successful host. People will take advantage of you and waste your time without a thought. I have had several people make inquiries and I've exchanged extensive messages with them and then they don't book or they cancel at the last minute and I lose other bookings. This has happened repeatedly. It would be good to have a way to rate a potential booker so other people know not to waste their time with someone who isn't serious. It would be good to be able to see if a person requesting a booking is someone who repeatedly cancels."

Invisible

Had this interaction earlier this week at work~

Me: I can't believe how this virus is sweeping through the whole library.

Colleague: Everyone has gotten a different virus, it's not the same virus.

Me: You think so? It seems to be similar for each person.

Colleague: I'm the only one who had a cough.

What? I was coughing my lungs out for 2 frigging weeks. This is how utterly insignificant and irrelevant I am to the people I work with...