Feeling melancholy

Today is Larry's 60th birthday. It feels kind of unreal, even seeing all the photos in my Facebook Memories of past celebrations with him. It doesn't really feel like I ever had that life.

I mostly think about the future and I'm not particularly sad about the past anymore, but this is an unsettling day. I thought we would grow old together, I thought we would share these types of milestones together. I was part of that partnership for so long...

I had dinner at someone's house this weekend, a couple that's been together for many years, and they were telling stories about their travel adventures. It reminded me that I had expected to have that life, a life where I had a partner and we told stories about when we 1st got together and the things that we did we were young and foolish. Seems so odd that I will never have that with a person, even if I meet somebody new - we won't have that shared history. It's sad.