Court No Show

That asshole didn't even show up for the telephone court date. We had the hearing without him, which was sort of silly. 

The magistrate is going to issue a formal judgment and that's it (now there'll be 9% interest charged, big whoop*). She said she can't recommend jail. She said if (obviously when) he doesn't pay, after a couple of months, I can file a new violation and that will be handled more severely apparently (I'm on the fence about it because I want him to be hassled, but the reality of this round is that I seem to be the only one who is aggravated). 

No penalty for not showing up today either (it seems a citation for failure to appear would be a minimum and a contempt of court charge would be even better). Someone probably told him that Family Court is completely toothless, so why bother. Or maybe he just decided to take his chances with ignoring the whole thing. It's all to his advantage, whether he realized it ahead of time or not.

This whole process has been so pointless. Where is the justice? As I said before, I'm okay, but there must be tons of women who really suffer from this lack of real enforcement.

* Does the court get that money or do I get that money?

Addendum: my sister scolded me hard for considering dropping this - she said she regrets giving up her fight with her ex (I don't think she ever got a dime from him - he moved away and got remarried).

Douchenozzle

So I'm chatting with a guy on the dating app because he says in his profile that he really likes reading. Sounds promising. Turns out, he just reads Tom Clancy and other genre fiction, and he talks a lot about his car, a GT Torino. #MidlifeCrisis. 

I'm already over this guy, but, out of the blue, he asks me if I know how to make s'mores. And I say, yes, I think most people our age do. Then he says, the question was a test. I asked, did I pass (but I'm thinking, gtfo). He says, no, I didn't, but he believes in second chances, so he asks me another question about s'mores.

I respond that I'm not into tests, I don't think we are suited to each other, and good luck in his search (I was planning to say something much more rude but restrained myself). And he says that he was just kidding and he was also thinking we weren't a match. 

I would have screenshotted this dumb conversation but he immediately deleted it.

My question is, why be deliberately unpleasant with this testing BS instead of just saying "I don't think we're a match"? What a douche. Why are there so many douches?????

Volunteering

 I'm trying to get involved with the community a bit more now that I'm settled in my house. I don't want to over volunteer like I did in NY, but try to selectively get involved. One of my College of Ed grad students, who is also a faculty member, has a foundation that is raising money for a new library building and invited me to join. Monthly meetings - manageable, though raising money is my least favorite volunteer gig.

I have rather high hopes for the potential of this group and I was tickled that I made it into the photo of the meeting first I attended:

There's some foundation money to support the group and the City is apparently helping. But the project is organized in a very top-down manner and I'm not sure it will survive once the foundation money is spent (around the end of the year) because there hasn't been enough effort made to find and empower community leaders. We'll see where it goes.

I should make this a screening question

 Another pointless lunch date today with a guy who didn't bother to pretend he found me interesting. Toward the end of the meal, he says he doesn't see the point of public libraries: the schools and universities both have libraries, so why do you need another one? I don't know why you would say that to a librarian unless you were actually trying to be disagreeable. I suppose if you think a library is a building with books inside, you might reasonably conclude they are useless in the digital age. Of course, if you understand that there are people in the world who are different from you and might not have access to everything you take for granted in your life, including a large and steady paycheck, you might begin to see the value. AND if you understand some of the things a public library provides for a community - a safe space to go, a place to access resources, a place where someone can help you find information, you might start to see the value. But if you don't believe in the common good, you definitely don't see the value of a public library...

Talking

 As I've said about a million times, I am just as interested in making female friends as I am in finding a romantic relationship. This weekend, I've been thinking about how much easier it has been (generally) to talk to the women I've met than it is to talk to the men. But I've also been thinking about how (so many) men just hear women differently. For example:

I say "Nice outfit," they hear

Woman: She likes my outfit.

Man: She wants to fuck me.

I say "Nice car," they hear

Woman: She likes my car.

Man: She wants to fuck me.

I say "Nice day," they hear

Woman: She likes the weather.

Man: She wants to fuck me.

Exhausted

Now that I'm settled in the house, it occurs to me that I packed up my house, moved, cleaned my old apt, and upacked at the new house basically all by myself without taking one minute off from work. I don't know why I always do this to myself - sort of Iron Man it. But I'm so fricking tired right now, I can hardly concentrate on anything productive. But I want to save my PTO for August when I go home to help Alana move. That's my big vacation this year! That and a weekend at a family event. smdh

Friendship futility

Last summer, I thought "Next summer, I won't have to do everything alone." And here it is, next summer, and I'm still doing (pretty much) everything alone.

Again!

I can't believe this happened again. The very first guy I ever met on a dating site (last year) did this too - we were having a very nice conversation, he seemed genuinely nice. Then, I wake up in the morning to a bunch of drunk texts. Why do they have to ruin a good thing? 

He apologized, but how do you come back from that? (And I'm a librarian, not a lawyer ffs.) The guy last year also apologized the next day. At least this guy didn't send me a dick pic like the guy last year did. And why is it always "do you want to fuck me"? Why is it never "I could give you the night of your life"?