Yes I'm bitter

I think it's fascinating that they spend all their vacations fishing. The 1st summer of the covid lockdown, me and Caleb and Alana went fishing all the time and he had no interest in joining us.

Eye roll

  This was actually last week, I forgot to post it. We were having a decent chat about books. Then he sends me this. I don't have a problem with messaging more than one woman, but maybe, if you're doing that, don't put the person's name in the message, so that we know it. So off putting.

The other thing is that this guy reached out to me. But the "early again" means he was already chatting with Kathy. I think this is more evidence that most of the guys on these apps just want to window shop and flirt with girls online, but they aren't really interested in putting in the effort for a relationship.

Losing hope

  I debated about posting a picture of this guy but why bother? He looks exactly how you would imagine a person who would send this ridiculous message would look. This is what I have been reduced to by trying to date using an app. Honestly, what grown ass man sends a message like this?

I assume "dantelle" is a misspelling of my name, but wtf is "ummm"?

Auspicious beginning

  I had the most marvelous beginning of my trip.

Of course I was late leaving, I pretty much expected to be. But the weather was amazing, the sky was putting on a show. I've taken innumerable photos of clouds over the years and I have never seen a cloud with a rainbow inside it. It was so beautiful! 

When I got to Fargo, I went to what I thought was a taco restaurant, but it turns out, it was just a taco stand. The owner was super nice I explained that I was concerned about gluten, and he recommended the tostadas, which were delicious (a little spicy for me but very good) and so cheap. 

Then I went to the gas station and it was 10 cents cheaper than it said on the map! I went inside to get a cup of water to make tea and the guy only charged me 75 cents, which was so nice. 

Then I stopped at a local liquor store to get a gift for Logan and the guy in there was super nice too. The store was beautiful and I found something perfect for Logan and I also bought some special grapefruit vodka which I'm super excited to have.

Then I had the most marvelous conversation with my favorite friend to talk to.

If the rest of the trip goes this well, it will be so smooth and wonderful.

The highest compliment

 A long time editor I'm working with, who is clearly well-respected and good at his job, told me today that he has to edit my stuff less than anyone he has ever worked with. WOW!

Puh-leez

A panty dropper for sure. (Why do guys think it's cool to be misogynistic on a dating app?)

 

Cruel ignorance

Mega-stupid response to a recent FB post. I was going to block him (he's the friend of a friend, not someone I really know) but I decided to craft a response instead - I thought it came out pretty well.

The sad part is that this issue has been chosen by the Repugs and nurtured and spread and it's working like a mf charm - independents and moderates respond to this shit with outrage and, as usual, the Dems have no functional reponse.

UPDATE: he doubled down with a comment about keeping freaks on a leash and THEN I blocked him.

Neighborhood futility

The neighborhood organizing meeting tonight was focused on code enforcement and issues of properties that are rentals v owner-occupied. 

It started with some interaction with an employee of the Blue Zones Project which just came to GF (the 74th US community!) They are funded by the State Health Department and Altru. They are focusing on 4 neighborhoods north of Demers: downtown, the Near North Side, Riverside, and us. We gave some feedback to the consultant, who is a transportation expert from Boise, Idaho. He spent all day interviewing leaders in the community, including the mayor, Parks & Rec, and some business owners. What irritated me was that I read the report that was generated by the University Corridor group a couple years ago and they addressed the same issues with mostly the same people (see below). Instead of paying this consultant to create a report, why don't the Blue Zone people just read that report??? They are going to come to the same conclusions and, especially maddening, the exact same **nothing** will happen as a result (the consultant said the residents will get to decide what gets done, lol).

I partly have this cynical attitude because of the second part of the meeting. The intern presented some information about city code enforcement procedures and the many city offices that exist to ensure that any complaints are defused and never addressed (obviously, they didn't present it this way but that is the basic result). Then the residents talked about their many many many personal experiences of neglectful neighboring landlords, mostly involving unmowed grass and overgrown weeds and trash not taken to the curb. Not exactly the stuff of "neglect" or a "public nuisance" - which are the only complaints that the city has the staff to address, according to the city rep at the meeting (he flat out said that the various city offices have no way to coordinate, so they can't track how many complaints have been received about a particular address, which I'm sure is a feature not a bug of the system). So what is the point of all this? I would much rather talk about some things we can do to make the neighborhood nicer. Instead, the city rep spent an hour egging on the people at the meeting to talk about their grievences, which serves no real purpose (except I suppose to make the citizens feel heard, which is useful I guess, but it changes nothing).

There was also a fair amount of bemoaning the demographic changes in the area - one guy said his neighbors used to be Norwegians! Seriously? Immigrant groups assimilate, they move as they become upwardly mobile - that's the American Dream! It's why people come here. And it's been happening for 2 centuries, it's not going to change. It would help if these people knew anything about US history. And recognized the reality of supply and demand - the housing market is the same all over the country, not just on their square block of Grand Forks (the consultant said that 1 in 5 homes in the US is bought by an investment firm and this has been happening since **2012**!).

I just can't with this delusional, wishful thinking. I want to help people who need to be empowered and I'm not the only one. Maybe we can focus on that in the future.

+ + + + + +

University Corridor report from March 2021 (data collected in 2019):

A study, funded by the Knight Foundation to the tune of $100,000, was conducted by JLG Architects in conjunction with the Community Foundation of Grand Forks, East Grand Forks and Region. In 2019, residents along the corridor were asked to weigh in on what improvements they would like to see. Results from the study were released in March 2021 and found that residents believe the University Avenue corridor is worthy of public investment, and that a number of safety and aesthetic improvements should be undertaken...The JLG study highlighted several ideas, including:

• Connecting bike paths to existing infrastructure.
• Removing center-of-street boundaries.
• Enhancing corridor safety through lighting projects.
• Maintaining established trees.
• Prioritizing pedestrian enhancements for neighborhood schools.
• Keeping University Park as a community hub.
• Improving bus shelters along the corridor.

Unexpected snobbery

 As I have mentioned previously, the "north side," where I bought my house, is spoken of derisively by people in GF in a way that is inconsistent with my experience of the area (my neighborhood is a mixture - there are some less well kept homes, but mostly the homes, and even apartment buildings, are well tended and some are quite lovely, and expensive - I checked!)

So I'm taking around the newly hired librarian at work, and someone says they wanted to rent for a while before they considered buying so they could learn the area - if they hadn't, they might have ended up on the north side! (Horrors!) I find this both odd (since it's an inaccurate stereotype and elitist af, which I would not expect from most of the people I have heard it from) and genuinely funny, since I couldn't be happier with my location. The proximity to my job and to downtown, the beautiful and well tended park nearby, the nascent neighborhood organization, and the friendliness and care of the neighbors, only confirms what I already think, which is that I made a spectacular choice. 

Neighbors!

 A couple of days after I moved into my new house, an older lady who lives across the street brought me some fresh-baked cinnamon rolls to welcome me to the neighborhood. Then, tonight, another older lady brought over some Chippers from Widman's, the local candy store (she didn't say so but I think her and her husband own or run the store). She sat and chatted with me for a while (mostly about all the terrible renters who have been in the house between us).

Frankly, I am stunned, but in a good way, at these neighborly gestures. In marked contrast to my experience at work and at my previous abode where no one really spoke to me there until a couple months before I moved out.