Midwest Conversation

 I've been bitching a little, and thinking a lot, about how often in this location I find myself stuck in a social interaction that involves me listening to other people talk. I have never felt so often and so much that the person or people in the interaction have no interest in what I have to say. There have been times, especially professionally, where this has been super frustrating. But it's so consistent, it's starting to just be depressing. 

Recently, I was at a restaurant with some folks that I had just finished volunteering with. Two of the folks were a couple who had recently moved to the area and they were talking about the things they wanted to see, sort of day trip-ish. Someone else at the table knew that I just came back from the Badlands and said so, and another person looked at me (I thought dismissively) and continued to talk - clearly I, who had just vacationed there, had nothing to contribute to the conversation. 

I know this sounds petty, but it happens A LOT. I used to complain about the dates I've had where the guy completely dominates the conversation, but it's not just a male thing here. It's odd because people are reticent in general, yet they so often just drown me in their talking. I honestly don't know what to think about it...

The other thing I have started to notice, as I hit the 2 year mark here, is that people who have known me this long seem to know almost nothing about me. Which is no surprise, since they have shown so very little interest in what I have to say. Case in point: someone brought a cake to my open house last month - how can they not know, after 2 years, that I don't eat wheat?! Recently someone expressed surprise when I said I liked to go to the movies. How can you know me for 2 years and not know this - it's virtually a personality trait of mine. But, of course, it is easy for people who know me to know nothing about me because they never ask and they never let me talk...

East Coast kind, West Coast nice

 

I've been thinking a lot about this debate and how it applies to the Midwest.

Here are some of the comments about the idea that I copied and pasted from various places (bold added):

"The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind."

"West coast is friendly but aloof. Initial interactions are pleasant but shallow. People make nice but generally try to avoid further engagement. East coast is unfriendly but real. Initial interactions can be unpleasant but heartfelt. People will tell you what they really think but if you can get past that initial awkwardness it’s possible to have a really meaningful interaction."

"West coast interactions are light and airy. East coast interactions can be brutally honest with strangers. West coasters seem to want to avoid unpleasantness while east coasters want to bond over it."

"In NYC, they say 'fuck you' when they mean 'have a nice day' and in California it's the opposite."