Crumbs from the money gods

 The money gods are smiling for a change. Well, they're tossing me a little bone. I'm kind of freaking out about money right now. The back child support is ending this year, Alana's tuition needs to be paid, Cal's student loan which I offered to pay (I didn't realize it would take 3 more years) is weighing on my mind, Alana's graduation in May is gonna cost me a bundle, and this fucking shower repair. Then I got a call today from the Pfizer trial which I had contacted online, saying there is a trial in KCMO with Moderna, $450 for 6 months. Yes please! It doesn't balance out the bigger expenses, but it's moving in the right direction.

Grief and love

 Anderson Cooper is hosting a new podcast about grief and I heard him say during an interview

"Fall in love with the thing you wish had never  happened."

Wow, I have been cogitating on that since I heard it.

Then I was listening to Ken Burns being interviewed on NPR about his Revolutionary War series and he was talking about his mother dying when he was 11 and how everything he has accomplished has essentially been due to that. And I thought, damn, he fell in love with the thing he wished had never happened.

It takes so much self love and self knowledge to achieve this, but I really want to be a person who can be that evolved and wise...

HOA bullshit

I've been having trouble with the hot water in my condo, but only in the shower. The plumber came and said I need to replace the shower fixture because the cartridge is old. (I've never heard of this and I've owned 5 homes.) $1900 🫤

The plumber could have done the work today, but said my neighbors needed notice that the water would be shut off. The management office wants to know what day I want to do it and the plumber wants me to find out when the management office wants them to do it. 🙄

Oh, and the best part: if I don't use their selected plumber company, which is obviously overcharging me, they're gonna charge me a fee for the mgt company maintenance "crew" to supervise. $100/hr

I can see why people warn you against condos. It's so much more straightforward when you own your house and you have control over the repairs that get done and who does them.

No thanks

 I met with a financial planner today and I was so put off by his approach to me. I explained my situation, with the divorce and the many small IRAs and the 3 houses. The guy should have said, damn girl, what a boss! Instead he was sort of scolding me about my expenses and not knowing all the details of my investments (I didn't bring all my SS & IRA etc paperwork, though they would have just taken it and done their assessment and gotten back to me, it wouldn't have helped on the day of the appt). He told me I shouldn't continue to contribute to my daughter's 529, but I said "you can use it to pay the student loan" and he clearly didn't know this. 

I would never work with someone who was so out of sync with my financial situation and the choices I've made for myself and my kids. I'm worried about retirement, and I'm super worried about being able to work full-time for as long as I want (like another 9 or 10 years). But I don't need some condescending "help" to plan for the future, that's for damn sure.

Such a waste

 I know this guy in my social group has a crush on me. Sadly, I don't find him attractive or even enjoy his company that much. I wish I could find someone with his level of admiration that I actually want to fuck.

America divided

I keep getting in this same fight with people who say "we've never been more divided." 

I point out that America has always been divided - did you see "Hamilton"? Do you know anything about the labor movement in this country? What about the 1960s? And we had a civil war that lasted EIGHT YEARS - more Americans died in that conflict than any other war Americans have been involved in.

Plus, that is an incredibly privileged observation - if you are Black, or Latino, or indigenous, you've experienced division in this country all along.

And the idea that we are in information bubbles also requires scrutiny. Cable news, social media, and the internet have allowed us to select our information sources, but white Americans have always been in an information bubble! In reality, we now have easy access, more than ever before, to alternate points of view.

Anand Giridharadas just posted a terrific short essay "This is a revolt against the future" that reminds us to keep fighting and keep looking forward.

2026 is doing me dirty already

Well, we are a week into 2026 and it's not been an auspicious start.

Had a date on the opening weekend of the year and it went about the same way as most of them: spent almost 3 hours listening to this guy talk. He didn't ask me a single question. I wasn't adoring enough or, more probably, just don't have big enough boobs. Anyway, I don't expect to hear from him again. No great loss. 

Another guy ghosted me in the middle of setting up a date at a local winery. I assume he was married and got caught on the app. Or maybe just skittish, there seems to be a lot of them. Either way, probably a lucky escape.

And finally, exchanged a few pleasantries with another guy on the app when he told me I looked good for my age. I gave him the ole heave-ho...that is most definitely not my vibe.

I hope we're getting the dross out of the way early, but I fear this is a harbinger of what's to come - more wasted time and energy.