Powered by Blogger

Sunday, January 31, 2010

What is a friend?

I think about this off and on, as various relationships evolve and develop. I'm sure the answer is different for each person, but there have to be some shared elements as well. For me it's 4 main things:

I can trust them. I don't have to wonder if they're lying to my face or talking about me behind my back.

They stick up for me. No one is going to believe eveything that you believe, but a friend doesn't mock the things that are important to you or denigrate what you care about, especially in front of other people.

They support me. No one is going to be there for you all the time, but when things are rough for you or you're feeling down, they have a kind word or even a helping hand.

They show up. This may be more important to me than to other people, but I feel strongly about people doing what they say they're going to do. I certainly have friends who are not very reliable, but they are not people I would consider close friends. I really need to know I can count on a friend to follow through and not leave me hanging. (I guess I just experienced too damn much of that growing up, I can't deal with it as an adult.)

That's about it. It's certainly not about being smart or being worldly or loving politics or having a fancy job. I value kindness and consistency a lot more than other qualities or characteristics.



Post a Comment

<< Home