Hook ups

I'm getting a lot of advice and suggestions about pursuing sex instead of a relationship. A long divorced friend explained her system for finding a suitable "Netflix and chill" partner. A man I know told me that he was looking for a friend with benefits situation and I thought he was implying that I would fit the bill. I'm even reading a book for my book club about a woman around my age who has affairs outside of her marriage just for the sex. 

I know I should. God knows it's been a coon's age. And I'm so disappointed in the results of my attempts at finding a relationship, at least so far. It's only been a few months, but it already seems futile. 

However, I'm not sure I'm the hook up type. I did it a bit when I was younger, but I never felt completely comfortable. I guess I've never felt like the sex was the best part of a relationship, so why would I want to narrow down to just that? I mean, I like sex, I want to have sex, but I don't want to ONLY have sex. The fun part is the connection and the affection. I want to do things together, the things I enjoy - eating good food, watching movies, canoeing, exploring. But especially talking together, that's super important to me - I can't imagine a relationship without that. And if I'm connecting with someone in that way, I'm going to feel connected intellectually and emotionally - it's gonna get deeper for me. I just can't see how I could keep it superficial and physical. And that just isn't very appealing. Maybe I would feel differently if I felt that zing with someone who actually reciprocated it, but it's hard to imagine that happening...