Conversation and friendship

I went to an event at the local winery this weekend, and, as I was leaving, I bumped into somebody I sort of know and stopped to chat. After about an hour of listening to this person talk, I made my excuses and left.

I was struck by how typical this interaction is, and how similar to so many others I have had since moving to the area. This person talked almost the whole time, didn't ask me questions, or give me much of a chance to respond. They told me about the places they have lived and got into a whole thing about national parks.  Though I have lived in many places, and visited many national parks for that matter, I never got the chance to share any information in this not-really-a conversation.

I have a new theory about developing friendships that this most recent interaction seems to further support. Though I typically ask questions and show an interest in the other person when in conversation, this behavior is very rarely reciprocated by the people I have met here. I believe these people never really develop into friends because they never learn anything about me...when they see me the next time, although they have shared so much (often fairly intimate) information with me, we don't really have any deeper connection because the interaction has been so one-sided. 

I have no idea what to do about this, or even if there is any way to circumvent this. I have discussed this with (actual) friends and they have had similar experiences. I don't know if this is a reflection of the era we live in, or if it is more prevalent in the midwest than on the east coast (it certainly seems to be very noticeable to me here, compared to other places I have lived). I have lived here long enough to have a rather long list of acquaintences about whom I know a great deal, but who know almost nothing about me (nor do they seem to have ANY interest in learning about me or actually being friends). 

For awhile, I thought listening attentively to this aggressive sharing was the way to develop connections, but it is clear to me after the amount of time I've lived here, that I have been deluding myself, because it is just not the case - although I know a lot (often more than I want to know) about a number of people, they have clearly not become friends in any recognizable meaning of that word. When I bump into people I "know" at social events, as I did this weekend, we fall into the same pattern of one-sided "conversation," where I learn additional information about their lives and experiences, but they continue to learn nothing about (or show any interest in) me.

The longer I live here, the more I depend on my "real" friends outside the area - I talk with them on the phone, and have put more resources into leaving the area to visit them. Friendship is important to me and I have always put emotional energy into maintaining friendships. I am now pretty much resigned to depending on friendships from other places I've lived, and I don't really expect meaningful relationships to ever develop during my time in ND.