Being loved

I continue to read super popular young adult novels like The Hunger Games and Graceling, and one thing I notice about them is that the female lead is always tough and prickly and of course super capable, and inevitably adored by all the other admirable characters in the book.  I know these books are a fantasy for young women (that's part of their raison d'etre). But they are rather bittersweet for me - because I am that exact personality, and adoration is in very short supply.  It's quite the opposite in real life - the showiest ass kissers are the most popular, no matter how phony they are.