Prayer

Another terrific Lunch with the Rabbis session. A smaller group than usual - just 10 people. The reading was a short chapter on personal versus communal prayer from a book called Making Prayer Real by Rabbi Mike Comins.

We talked about why we attend services, and what constitutes prayer. It was one of the best sessions yet.

As for me, what I said in the group is that this reading really pushes my buttons because it's at the crux of my own ongoing spiritual crisis that I'm been facing for years now. But that I participate in communal prayer, despite my internal struggles, in order to set an example of Jewish worship for my kids. I got all choked up while I was talking, for about 10 different reasons, including the fact that my siblings have rejected Judaism. It makes me so sad that we can't share this at all, and it makes me sad that my nieces and nephews have no connection to Judaism. And it makes me feel even more obligated to make sure my kids do have a connection. Even if they go down their own paths eventually, it won't be because I didn't take a decent shot at giving them a Jewish identity.

ADDENDUM

I'm not surprised that I got choked up during this discussion, because I seem to be on the verge of tears constantly these days. I got teary-eyed driving by a funeral procession over the weekend. Not sure why I'm so sensitive right now. It doesn't feel like depression, just being sentimental and affected by everything.