The sorry state of feminism after 25 years

I've been a feminist since at least 1980, and I must say I get more and more discouraged by the state of our culture these days. Of course, access to abortion is being chipped away all around the country and in some cases the world. And the way that feminism is blamed for the ills of our society is truly shocking to me. But it's on a more personal level that I find myself unpleasantly surprised these days . . . most recently by an article I read where women who are breast-feeding their own babies are still scolding other women for the "disgusting" practice of breast-feeding in public. I am equally surprised by women who have commented disapprovingly to my face over the years about keeping my maiden name when I got married - this was not a choice I struggled with at the time because maintaining my own identity seemed like the only reasonable, the only possible, choice. I have also been taken aback at the vehemence with which stay-at-home moms criticize women who work outside the home - asserting that they are selfish and bad mothers. Frankly, it is beyond my comprehension that an educated woman who had a career would want to devote herself exclusively to motherhood. I love my two children dearly and both my pregnancies were planned, however, the mere thought of staying home and submerging my Self in caring for them is repulsive to me, unthinkable. However, I would never use the sort of personally denigrating arguments about stay-at-home moms that they use to criticize me. I really can't wrap my mind around this situation - women being so disrespectful of other women's choices. That's what feminism is for me - the validation of additional choices for all women. Of course I judge women who stay home with their children, of course I think my choice is superior, but I would never write tirades about how selfish or foolish or immoral those women are. I keep my thoughts to myself. I think women make their choices for their own reasons and I must respect that, even if it mystifies me. It is misogynist, and I don't use that term lightly, to publically castigate other women for the choices they make. This constant invalidating of women's choices by other women is harmful to all women and to our society as a whole.