"The True American"

My friend Jim, who is a total darling, sent me this annoying email and below is the version I created to send back to him.

THE TRUE AMERICAN

It's time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN humor! Only it isn't seen as HUMOR, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Pass this on to your True American friends. Y'all know who they are...

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase,'One nation, under God.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holidays.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email. God Bless the USA !

HERE'S MY VERSION:

You're a true American if you've ever read the Bill of Rights. You're a true American if you understand that religious tolerance is one of the founding principles of this nation. You're a true American if you know what the phrase "rule of law" means. You're a true American if you understand that jingoism is a characteristic of fascism, not democracy. You're a true American if you understand that two pillars comprise democracy: majority rule AND protection of minority rights. You're a true American if you agree with Voltaire (yes, a FRENCH guy): "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."