Judaism redux

What a frustrating day. The women's art showcase went really well, but it was so much work, with so little help, and almost no acknowledgement (I've been trying to model gratitude with the other WRJ officers, saying "thanks for your help" and "thanks for taking that on," etc etc, but so far, absolutely no one has reciprocated).

Then to top it all off, I felt obligated to sit through a "primer" on the orthodox synagogue, because our women's group is planning a field trip there next month. Gag. Here are some of the high points: except for worship, the shul believes in equality for women (in reference to their president being a woman); women are allowed to sing but quietly; unlike most orthodox temples, the rabbi brings the torah to the women's section so that they can touch it. It went on and on like this. What frustrated me even more than this parade of misogyny was the complete lack of outrage. I was absolutely fuming by the time it was over, but as far as I could tell, no one there was bothered at all. All these years of feminism and the women's movement, and these seemingly enlightened ladies have no trouble with men telling them when and how they are allowed to worship God. It almost literally made me sick. I made one comment early on to a friend, but after her lack of response, I left it alone. I genuinely don't judge how others worship and what they find acceptable, but I want nothing to do with it. And keep that shit away from my kids. I don't want them exposed to any kind of religious practice that values women's participation differently from men's. That is my line in the sand.

I left there feeling defeated and lonely. All those lovely women's seders I attended over the years with like-minded souls, and all the late night conversations with Jewish feminists, this is where I've ended up.